Why I'm Messed Up And So Are You
People think I have my life together. Guess what? I don't. Being perceived as great (in a highly constructed reality
People think I have my life together. Gauge what? I don't. Being perceived as dandy (in a highly constructed reality y'all've created for those around you) doesn't really mean you've got it together. There'south this affair… information technology'southward called existence authentic, and most of united states accept no idea how to do it. I'm still learning how.
When you are existence authentic, you are the strongest, most resilient version of yourself, because authenticity ways bearing your scars and failures for the world to see, no affair how ugly they experience. And that's what we don't practise. We're non vulnerable plenty. Nosotros're likewise decorated trying not to be vulnerable.
The possession of flaws is a staple of the homo experience, nonetheless we live in a society in which we are pressured to encompass up those flaws in gild to appear normalized or acceptable. Simply put, this is why we are messed upwardly.
Why I'm Messed Up And So Are You
The problem is that if we cavern to this pressure of being perfect, we nowadays a flawless, fault-free, sterling version of our grapheme—our Self —and in doing so, we feel increasingly lost due to a) a divergence between who we are and who we present to the world , and b) the incorrect conventionalities that nosotros're the only ones with such departure, thereby viewing everyone else as 'composed' . In our hearts, we know there is work to be done, but we avoid it, considering showtime such work would entail exposing our flaws & opening ourselves to ridicule, perception, and judgment; a cruel punishment, indeed. I'm not saying we need to start screaming our insecurities/addictions/trauma at the top of our lungs, downward the hallway at work (let me know if you practise, I kind of desire to exist there for that), but we need to be cognizant of why we have our insecurities, and work to communicate 'why' to the people around us.
We observe the greatest comfort in those who we believe are like ourselves.
The reality is that when we're willing to endure vulnerability, nosotros discover non just condolement, just incredible force and community, telling our stories and bearing our souls to a common cold world. Eckhart Tolle said it best, "…yous need to say yep to suffering before you can transcend it." It'south like rehab, but for everyone. We all need rehab. We are warriors in our own lives. Nosotros fight battles no ane knows anything about. All of u.s.a.. It'southward a fact. And yet, we walk effectually presenting the most suited and put-together versions of ourselves, as if to suggest that beingness civilized as well means being ignorant and incommunicative of our struggles. Similar we all aren't going crazy. It's completely delusional to act like this. Precipitous pencils wait sharp because they oasis't been put to the test.
Being authentic ways existence put to the test. It means breaking the cycle of 'character versus reputation'. Information technology means letting the two converge no matter how stupid or ugly we look. You lot start somewhere and you change what you don't like. Fight the insecurity. Be a warrior. Life is tough. Admit that you have no thought what you lot're doing, and that you make a ton of mistakes. Once you find the confidence to say, "this is who I am, and I'm getting better," that's total exposure. That feels embarrassing, just you'll find that you'll attract other people who seek authenticity in the process. You'll become a catalyst of confidence for others, too; reminding them information technology'southward okay to exist lost or hurt. We notice the greatest comfort in those who we believe are like ourselves. And so, by being authentic, it becomes infinitely easier to grow, to connect with those who truly treat us, and to deal with our individual pain. Those who hide their weaknesses are more concerned with maintaining outward perfection than those who communicate their faults openly. Zilch tin be said or washed to the latter individual that would preclude them from fighting through life, because they take no false ideas to protect.
Yous're a warrior. Act similar 1. And while you're at it, if yous've figured it all out, reach out to tell me how you're doing considering I'm yet trying.
Source: https://www.goalcast.com/why-im-messed-up-and-so-are-you/